I have something to say that I’m sure I’m going to regret, but it’s been bothering me for a while.

I’m getting tired of my best friend.

In high school, things were so simple; we were kids and even though I had a crush on him, it was easier to ignore—relationships weren’t as pressing on my mind as they are now (I wish I was that way currently, but that’s another matter).

This last weekend we had our very first fight—and by fight, I mean he was mad at me because he felt I was spending more time with another mutual friend of ours and deliberately leaving him out. I just figured he was mad at the situation, not at me; I let him have his little tiff, then he apologized for what he said, which I knew he would. I’d never leave him out and he damn well knows that.

We’re talking again, and he’s back to talking about his (newest) current crush, which again, I could care less about. But because I’m a friend, I listen to him.

I’m glad he’s not mad anymore, but after we had our “fight”, things just feel yucky now. He crossed a line when he spoke to me in the manner he did, and now I feel like things won’t ever be the same again.

He’s out of town right now, and will be until August, and I feel guilty for admitting that I’m a little glad he’s away. I just don’t feel like seeing him, at least for a little while.

I’m so confuzzled. :(