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On Christmas presents: Friend: Oh, by the way—I bought you a present for Christmas.
Me: WHAT?? OH DANG IT, WHY??? YOU DIDN'T NEED TO GET ANYTHING FOR ME, NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BUY YOU SOMETHING TOO OR ELSE I'LL BE THE WORST FRIEND IN THE WORLD BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET AND...WHY ARE YOU SPOILING ME????